I know that posting once a month is not ideal, but as I’ve said before, I’m busy. My SEM duties were diminished 3 months ago as I transitioned into a User Experience and Info Architecture role. I kept an eye on the industry, but in the end, it has been hard to pay too close attention to something I was rarely doing.
Search Master Steve was on leave for a family related issue, or else we would’ve had a big MSFT/Yahoo post.
I write today to let you know that tomorrow I’m having surgery for a rare heart disease called arrhythmogenic right ventricular dysplasia, or ARVD. You can read about it here – www.arvd.com
Basically, I have inherited a nasty disease that has given me a heart infused with fat, making my right ventricle friggin’ huge (medical term) and beat irregularly. As the only known symptom is death and there is no real cure, I have to have an ICD put into my body to keep me from dropping dead tomorrow or 40 years from now.
I’m told the episodes are relatively minor ordeals, but one did bring my dad to his knees, so I’m not really sure how minor I would consider that. In all likelihood, the ICD will not kick in until I’m 50 or older and with any luck it will never need to be used. That being said, you can bet your ass it’s going to freak me out. In the end, a robot is in charge of me now, and I’m sure it will do its job just fine.
I am advised to avoid magnets as they will turn off my ICD until I’m far enough away from said magnets for the ICD to determine that it’s safe to turn back on. I also have been discouraged from taking up welding and I’m pretty sure I have to give up my black tar heroin habit.
In the end, both my brother and my dad have the same disease and the same type of little robot ensuring their hearts do not stop. I’m not worried about the procedure.
Thanks for listening, I’ll try to write more often.
Here we go, first post of ‘09 and first with the new WP.
Dear Reader,
So, we all made it to 2009. Congrats, we staved off death another year. I have nothing to say today, but I felt I needed to get back in the swing of things over here. It’s like shopping for a holiday, you have to buy the first gift regardless of whether you think you could get a better deal somewhere, or think that the item is utter garbage, that’s not the point – it’s crossing into the proper mindset.
Which brings us to our current predicament: my lack of posting. Never fear reader, I’m working on it. To get in the mindset I’ve put on Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash and I’m writing a fluff piece to get used to the onslaught of writing that will surely follow.
Yeah, that’s probably a bunch of bullshit; but hey, I’m trying.
There’s a great map over at SwingStateProject.com. It tracks every state/region poll closing time so you can be alert to the latest results tomorrow as they happen.
These are the words of Barry Sonnenfeld (the man who brought you Wild Wild West and Space Chimps). Uttered last night during his acceptance speech at the Emmy Awards, these words stood out amidst the political discourse that other winners chose to litter their acceptance speeches. What did Sonnenfeld mean when he said these 6 words? Here were my knee jerk reactions:
Barry Sonnenfeld is against free speech
Perhaps, as a respected member of mainstream Hollywood, Sonnenfeld could be fundamentally against the tennets of the First Amendment. Anyone who would caution “fear the Internet,” must be in some way against freedom of speech; afterall, the Internet (Web technically) is simply a soundboard for anyone’s opinions, stories, trivia, or creativity.
Barry Sonnenfeld wants a controlled market
Where there is no Internet, TV would retain its former stranglehold on entertainment. Seriously, before the rise of the Web, who remembers what we used to do every night from 8-11pm? Personally, I would be watching TV for hours. Mindlessly sitting in front of a glowing box, digesting what advertisements and agenda was thrown in front of me. Today, I spend most of my day interacting with others (humans, bots, corporations) on the Web. Choosing which advertisements I want to see, versus which I’d be willing to pay not to see.
Barry Sonnenfeld hates creativity
Name all the decent TV shows that started in the last 5 years. You’ll probably come up with quite a few (if you need help According to Jim started in 2001, so you can’t count that…oh and it’s fucking horrible). Now, compare that with your bookmarks for the last 5 years. Clark and Michael, Homestar Runner, The Legend of Neil – on a quantity scale, the Web wins for me. The creatitvity inherent in a system with fewer rules and regulations, lower cost of development and production, and less reliance on advertising is astounding. While TV might have better quality from time to time, shows like Arrested Development had a hard time surviving on TV.
In the end, what I realized about Barry Sonnenfeld is this – he doesn’t get it. He’s not probably (hopefully) for or against any of these things; however, he doesn’t get how you could harness the Internet for good. Instead, he rails it from a fear standpoint. Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t look smart, it looks ignorant.
I’d set out to post this. That’s the thing about comedy (and although these posts are remarkably darker than my norm, I’m still think comedy first), people say that timing is important; however, too often they forget about the setup. One of my favorite bits is my impersonation of Bea Arthur, the thing is, it’s all in the setup. The bit can be done in 5 seconds, but it’s more humorous over 2 minutes. With this in mind…
Many of you weren’t probably raised Catholic. I was. Couple that with parents that were overly protective and a conscious that was overly active (and paranoid and negative and cynical and…) and you have me…or more accurately, my mind. That being said, guilt and regret seem to play a larger role in my life than they do in others. One of my friends shares this problem with me and he put it best one night when we were being far too honest with each other.
You know what I realized? I’m a horrible person! And the problem with that, is that I only remember the horrible things I do.
So true.
Everyday of my life is filled with joy; unfortunately, I have no recollection of these feelings. Instead, my days consist of flashbacks to the days of yore where I’m insulting a group of parents in elementary school, pissing on the front-side of a building on St. Patrick’s day, kicking my girlfriend out of my apartment so that I could drink alone, gorging myself on Little Debbie snack cakes, telling one of my best friends that he is a leech and that no one likes him, killing hobos, writing that post the other day that convinced people I was quitting, alienating friends and family to no gain, and countless other times where what I regret is what I didn’t do.
This is me from day to day, and it always has been. The person that you trust, but never understand why he wouldn’t trust himself; the person that you give a chance to, only to end up humiliated by proxy. Hi, let’s be friends!
The advantage of this situation (here comes the after school special part…), is held within (see). Sure, we all learn from mistakes, but I’ve always thought that the mistakes we learn best from are the ones we see ourselves repeat. I’m not going to learn right off the bat not to put salt in my eyes, but after a couple times trying it, maybe I do.
Eh, maybe I don’t.
Point being, I’ve learned that I remember my own regret, far more so than the good things that happen to me. Thus, I’ve learned to do things right; not through trial and error, but through error and error and then eventual trial and success. It takes longer, but it works for me. I suppose it’s similar to the driving force for so many people to “never give up.” Although, I don’t think that works for people like me. My problem was never one of willpower – sadly, I have too much of willpower for someone so afflicted by their own shortcomings. It’s more of a “get it right” stance that I take, like when Vanessa had to do a science project for her new advanced science class. That shit was ugly!!! So she fixed it (I don’t think the writers were “on” that day).
Moral of the story: What? I forgot what we were doing here. Well, shit, you know more about Syzlak now…so there’s that.
