Posted on: December 8, 2011 by Syzlak
Have you seen the ad for MyZone headphones? It’s one of my favorites, because the guy in the commercial is just ungodly pissed off at the fact that his condom broke 10 years ago. He hates his kids, he hates his wife, he hates everything. If only he could never hear them again, then he’d be at peace…
Thankfully, MyZone headphones are much cheaper and easier to deal with than murder.
Make your holidays bright, by tuning out your life.
Posted on: August 27, 2009 by Syzlak
Hello Reader
I know that posting once a month is not ideal, but as I’ve said before, I’m busy. My SEM duties were diminished 3 months ago as I transitioned into a User Experience and Info Architecture role. I kept an eye on the industry, but in the end, it has been hard to pay too close attention to something I was rarely doing.
Search Master Steve was on leave for a family related issue, or else we would’ve had a big MSFT/Yahoo post.
I write today to let you know that tomorrow I’m having surgery for a rare heart disease called arrhythmogenic right ventricular dysplasia, or ARVD. You can read about it here – www.arvd.com
Basically, I have inherited a nasty disease that has given me a heart infused with fat, making my right ventricle friggin’ huge (medical term) and beat irregularly. As the only known symptom is death and there is no real cure, I have to have an ICD put into my body to keep me from dropping dead tomorrow or 40 years from now.
I’m told the episodes are relatively minor ordeals, but one did bring my dad to his knees, so I’m not really sure how minor I would consider that. In all likelihood, the ICD will not kick in until I’m 50 or older and with any luck it will never need to be used. That being said, you can bet your ass it’s going to freak me out. In the end, a robot is in charge of me now, and I’m sure it will do its job just fine.
I am advised to avoid magnets as they will turn off my ICD until I’m far enough away from said magnets for the ICD to determine that it’s safe to turn back on. I also have been discouraged from taking up welding and I’m pretty sure I have to give up my black tar heroin habit. 
In the end, both my brother and my dad have the same disease and the same type of little robot ensuring their hearts do not stop. I’m not worried about the procedure.
Thanks for listening, I’ll try to write more often.
Posted on: January 6, 2009 by Syzlak
Here we go, first post of ‘09 and first with the new WP.
Dear Reader,
So, we all made it to 2009. Congrats, we staved off death another year. I have nothing to say today, but I felt I needed to get back in the swing of things over here. It’s like shopping for a holiday, you have to buy the first gift regardless of whether you think you could get a better deal somewhere, or think that the item is utter garbage, that’s not the point – it’s crossing into the proper mindset.
Which brings us to our current predicament: my lack of posting. Never fear reader, I’m working on it. To get in the mindset I’ve put on Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash and I’m writing a fluff piece to get used to the onslaught of writing that will surely follow.
Yeah, that’s probably a bunch of bullshit; but hey, I’m trying.
Love you till Friday,
Syzlak
Posted on: November 3, 2008 by Syzlak
There’s a great map over at SwingStateProject.com. It tracks every state/region poll closing time so you can be alert to the latest results tomorrow as they happen.
Click for a larger size.
Posted on: September 22, 2008 by Syzlak
These are the words of Barry Sonnenfeld (the man who brought you Wild Wild West and Space Chimps). Uttered last night during his acceptance speech at the Emmy Awards, these words stood out amidst the political discourse that other winners chose to litter their acceptance speeches. What did Sonnenfeld mean when he said these 6 words? Here were my knee jerk reactions:
Barry Sonnenfeld is against free speech
Perhaps, as a respected member of mainstream Hollywood, Sonnenfeld could be fundamentally against the tennets of the First Amendment. Anyone who would caution “fear the Internet,” must be in some way against freedom of speech; afterall, the Internet (Web technically) is simply a soundboard for anyone’s opinions, stories, trivia, or creativity.
Barry Sonnenfeld wants a controlled market
Where there is no Internet, TV would retain its former stranglehold on entertainment. Seriously, before the rise of the Web, who remembers what we used to do every night from 8-11pm? Personally, I would be watching TV for hours. Mindlessly sitting in front of a glowing box, digesting what advertisements and agenda was thrown in front of me. Today, I spend most of my day interacting with others (humans, bots, corporations) on the Web. Choosing which advertisements I want to see, versus which I’d be willing to pay not to see.
Barry Sonnenfeld hates creativity
Name all the decent TV shows that started in the last 5 years. You’ll probably come up with quite a few (if you need help According to Jim started in 2001, so you can’t count that…oh and it’s fucking horrible). Now, compare that with your bookmarks for the last 5 years. Clark and Michael, Homestar Runner, The Legend of Neil – on a quantity scale, the Web wins for me. The creatitvity inherent in a system with fewer rules and regulations, lower cost of development and production, and less reliance on advertising is astounding. While TV might have better quality from time to time, shows like Arrested Development had a hard time surviving on TV.
In the end, what I realized about Barry Sonnenfeld is this – he doesn’t get it. He’s not probably (hopefully) for or against any of these things; however, he doesn’t get how you could harness the Internet for good. Instead, he rails it from a fear standpoint. Unfortunately for him, it doesn’t look smart, it looks ignorant.
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