Posted on: September 10, 2008 by Syzlak
At the risk of sounding pithy, emotional and self-interested, (didn’t you want “Wonderful Tonight” to be playing when you read this?) I feel it’s about time to do a personal piece. I know no one really likes to read them, but we all accept them as forms of catharsis for the writer. While recently I have tended to do fewer and fewer SEM related posts, it’s not for lack of interest; but rather, a lack of new information. Sure, I could spout off what a dozen other writers are spouting off right now. I could tell you a bit of information that many writers have said months if not years before me. It’d be old news. Somebody might get something out of it; certainly SEOHack would give me praise…the rest of you would ignore it.
So why bother?
Why bother to write all this useless shit? I have a couple tips I’d like to share; but when I start thinking about posting them, I start dreading the act of posting. The hour or more to properly craft the piece. The 10 minutes to get a good pic. The endless waiting for a response from 1 of my readers – not for fame, but to make sure it made sense. The massive boost of 4 visitors to the site…
What’s the fucking point anymore?
If you don’t read this blog religiously (by the way, religiously for me is a perfect description of my interaction with this blog. I was raised Catholic and never made a habit of going to Church since I lived in Illinois. Once in awhile, as I believe is the case with a lot of Catholics who have strayed from the Church (which isn’t entirely accurate, but I digress) I will go to Mass. I don’t know why, I just do. So, it’s kind of like posting here – I do it when I feel guilty) then you might have landed here after hitting the Stumble button. If so, click an ad before you leave, I know you’re not paying attention to what’s being said anyway.
Do I sound defeated?
If so, it’s your own damn fault. Everyday hundreds of “SEO” bloggers post useless lists in order to have new content on their sites. They repeat what someone else took the time to write. Sometimes they disagree with something someone wrote, and they expect us all to care. It’s like the song by The Hold Steady “Most People are DJs.” Cloak and Dagger Media has a great quote from Craig Finn about his song
I think that DJing, like rock criticism, tends to be a way for people to participate in the “scene” without taking the risks to the ego that go along with producing music or any other art.
Sounds like blogging. “Hey everyone! Come read my list about stuff I didn’t think up!” Congrats. Awhile back, I’d read that the current crop of 15-25 year olds are being labeled the “Look at Me” Generation. That’s not entirely fair, as the age bracket should be bigger. Let’s say 10-40. While we’re out, let’s rename it. I think anyone that writes a popular blog should be known as a member of the “Look What I Found” Generation.
What’s my point?
Fuck, I don’t even know anymore. At the risk of depressing everyone Hack my reader, be prepared to read a lot of depressing posts over the next few days. I’ve lost the energy to care about this blog. Well, at least this incarnation of the blog. I’m tired of trying to find something to say about something I don’t care that much about.
In the end, maybe that’s a good thing.
Photo Credit to Stereogum
Posted on: February 22, 2008 by Syzlak
There is one thing I have to say…
WebTrends sucks. Anybody ever use them? Similar experiences, different experiences? To me, their products are over-priced, bloated and convoluted when compared to the vast number of options for analytics software. Just today, I was told that, because my client’s site had so few visitors they were unable to show me any data.
Really?
Posted on: January 29, 2008 by Syzlak
I’d be a better public speaker.
Sorry I’ve been out of the blogosphere lately, but I’ve been absolutely swamped at work, whilst trying to get more material worked up for some thought out posts (yes SEOHack, sometimes posts can be well planned and funny). So, what’s up with the influx of work?
Is anyone else experiencing this shit? I mean, come on. I went to most of my classes for 17 years (do the math) in order to get a decent job where I could just look annoyed and busy every time someone walked past my office. I’ve successfully climbed up and then over and then slightly down and then diagonally up two rungs by three rungs in order to have a job that prevents me from working and from losing my job. So, why all the work? It’s really a pain in the ass.
Did you see that I had to hire that ass-clown Search Master Steve just to fill in on off days? It’s a damn travesty! The guy shows up everyday in that same v-neck sweater without combing his goddamn hair. Then, then, then, it’s my fucking fault he doesn’t know how to spell. When I read the “Get Your Own Search Master Steve!” pamphlet from MSN, there was no mention that he may be damaged.
Speaking of damaged, he also has a slight odor. I looked online (ASK.com search: How come my “Search Master Steve” has a noticeable odor? Kind of like tandoori soaked cherries.)
So, that’s where Syzlak’s been… at work. In all honesty, I think I’m really feeling the pressure of the struggling economy, how about anyone else? Is 2008 off to a rough start for y’all too?
Posted on: December 14, 2007 by Syzlak
Ok, so I haven’t had a post in awhile. Fair enough, I did have a gig this week and get food poisoning, but shit who cares about what happens to me? As long as the blog survives then you’re happy.
So, although I have a queue of 4 stellar posts to be made over the next week (hopefully), I’ll take one that has been on my mind for ages now.
Hey Microsoft program developers! Did you ever think to make an “undo save” button? There have been countless times in my life where I am either putting together a feed, report, RFP, etc. only to have hit that fucking save button out of instinct before I should have. Whether it just be the need have saved this file under a different name, or that I needed to undo the action before the save (this happens to be the most frequent mistake, as I am a notorious user of excel for my extensive use of either cell conditioning/formatting or with formulas…and sometimes, well, I forget to check to make sure whether or not I’ve actually done the calculation accurately across 10 rows and 300 columns).
I would save so much time, and cost so many fewer lives if I had this function.
All right, I’m dizzy and listening to the Nintendo Sound Team albums is starting to drive me batty.
Posted on: October 2, 2007 by Syzlak
I work with some horrible search engines.
After running a campaign on ABCSearch for months (reader remembers when I first wrote about 3rd Tier engines) I saw traffic for the first time last week. Anxious to build a report for my client, I went to their reporting center and this was a link on their reporting page:
Download Report In XL sheet
XL!!!! XL!!!! A gigantic sheet will deliver your report!!! Not an MS Licensed product. Do you know what happens when you click it? It takes you to a new screen where you have to re-enter the dates you want the report to cover. Then you click a button that says:
Upload Report
Really? Could this be more amateur? At this point, not only do I have no idea where these ads are being displayed, but I also have no reporting to study. Fantastic work! I know that some of you out there will suggest calling support…this may be more inept than their site. One day I called support at the behest of my client (he was concerned that we hadn’t seen traffic, I was sure that we may never) asking if there was anything we should try to increase our presence. The response?
Increase your bids on the keywords
Really? That’s it? Did you not look at my campaign? Do you not realize that increasing bids does nothing for you if you’re already ranked #1? Moments like these I’m glad I’m not the SEOHack, I’m glad that I have a calm button on my person. However, it still infuriates me that search engines exist with this level of ineptitude. Have a UI that makes sense! Hire and train your employees! Don’t recruit businesses to advertise on your search “network” if they won’t have traction.
Funny, just now current future ex-Mrs. Syzlak texted me:
why cant people just admit it when they don’t know how to do something. i work with such bozos i swear
So do I.
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