Syzlak’s SEM

Hey reader!

Since I’ve gotten back into the swing of things over here at SyzlakSEM, I deemed it time to break out the ol’ Like-Like Link post. Today’s link post will consist mostly of links found today when I remembered that this post was due yesterday. Without further delay

1. Matt McGee has decided to have a job again. Pussy

2. Google decided that my life was just too easy and so they found a way to crawl Flash. Thanks assholes. Do you know how hard it is to deal with a Flash programmer? They’re insufferable bitches. Seriously, I have Flash programmers (some of them even like the oh so hoity title of “designers”) that are friends and they’re cool, but when it comes down to it asking them to change their precious Flash in any way is like asking a 4 year old to share ice cream. Now we’ll have a whole new generation of shitty looking web sites that aren’t planned out with proper architecture and are just projects to show off how fast someone can make a menu animate. I’m thrilled. Thanks again.

3. You know women? You know, like, models? I don’t mean Tyra or Naomi, but like the models on the lower tier. The catalog, newspaper, department store models. Not terribly flashy and they couldn’t make it in Milan; but all in all, damn fine looking women that would make you take a second glance or make Martin Lawrence go “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN.” That’s what I’m talking about. The women that probably get stared at on a subway or train, get hollered at, demeaned, etc. when they really would like/should be treated like anyone else. The women that probably don’t get asked out often enough because they seem unapproachable, those that when interviewed (assuming they’d get interviewed for something) always say that they’re a “t-shirt and jeans kind of gal.” You know these?

Yeah, me too. Except the thing that dork-ass guys like myself fail to realize is that the “jeans” in question are probably a designer pair from a boutique clothing shop in the ritzy part of town and the “t-shirt” was found during a sale (yet not ON sale) at some rich ass store. What we don’t understand is that when they say they’re a “t-shirt and jeans kind of gal,” that means that they feel comfortable in their $300+ outfit. Which is nice I suppose, I’d hate for them to feel uncomfortable in a $1200 dress all day long. However, this is the very root of the problem, that’s not what we thought that sentence meant. Every fucking guy on the planet reads that sentence to mean “I like Levi’s with holes in them and any old t-shirt that fits nicely. I like to eat pizza, drink at least 4 beers a night, go out on the town often - but only to the sports bar ’cause I don’t like to get bored with conversation. Oh, and I really like to just lounge around all weekend.” Why do men think that? Because we’re idiots. Why are we idiots? Because we don’t realize that we’ve described a guy. Then when one of us has a chance to be with a “t-shirt and jeans kind of gal,” we fuck it up because we don’t know why they’re different from our preconceived notions.
Thankfully, Google can help us out on this one too.

4. Long set up on #3 I know, but I couldn’t just go the cheap route and link out. So now onto the blogger’s choice awards. This year they have a category called Worst Blog of All Time. Currently our friend SEOHack is in the “running” (read: nominated) for the prestigious award. Does he deserve it? No, but you should go vote for him anyway. Sure, his blog ain’t so bad, and yes it’s focused on SEO (kinda) so it couldn’t ever win this award, but who cares. It’s safe to sign up too! Those ass-holes ain’t sent me shit.

Fin

This post is tagged fun, like-like links