Posted on: August 21, 2008 by Syzlak
So someone just called me an “SEM Rockstar.” Well, I don’t know about all that. I mean, sure, I rock the SEM…but an SEM Rockstar. No.
No. No. No.
I am but a humble SEM cave dweller. Doing my work dilligently, never asking for a moment’s rest to come and visit my now shitty blog. Never being able to login to MyBlogLog, forgetting about Plurk, tweeting but once a day…
Hardly a rockstar’s life for me.
In all seriousness, where the fuck have I been? This is my first post for August??? This is the site’s first post in August???? Screw my own self-concern, where the hell has Steve been?
Sorry reader, I know I haven’t been around lately, but I intend to remedy that if I ever lose my job and have to resort to blogging like so many others before me.
Happy Birthday Hack, next year we’ll get you the real Hannah Montana!
Posted on: July 17, 2008 by Syzlak
Then this would be the difference between myself and Streko
Posted on: July 1, 2008 by Syzlak
Hey reader!
Since I’ve gotten back into the swing of things over here at SyzlakSEM, I deemed it time to break out the ol’ Like-Like Link post. Today’s link post will consist mostly of links found today when I remembered that this post was due yesterday. Without further delay
1. Matt McGee has decided to have a job again. Pussy
2. Google decided that my life was just too easy and so they found a way to crawl Flash. Thanks assholes. Do you know how hard it is to deal with a Flash programmer? They’re insufferable bitches. Seriously, I have Flash programmers (some of them even like the oh so hoity title of “designers”) that are friends and they’re cool, but when it comes down to it asking them to change their precious Flash in any way is like asking a 4 year old to share ice cream. Now we’ll have a whole new generation of shitty looking web sites that aren’t planned out with proper architecture and are just projects to show off how fast someone can make a menu animate. I’m thrilled. Thanks again.
3. You know women? You know, like, models? I don’t mean Tyra or Naomi, but like the models on the lower tier. The catalog, newspaper, department store models. Not terribly flashy and they couldn’t make it in Milan; but all in all, damn fine looking women that would make you take a second glance 
or make Martin Lawrence go “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN.” That’s what I’m talking about. The women that probably get stared at on a subway or train, get hollered at, demeaned, etc. when they really would like/should be treated like anyone else. The women that probably don’t get asked out often enough because they seem unapproachable, those that when interviewed (assuming they’d get interviewed for something) always say that they’re a “t-shirt and jeans kind of gal.” You know these?
Yeah, me too. Except the thing that dork-ass guys like myself fail to realize is that the “jeans” in question are probably a designer pair from a boutique clothing shop in the ritzy part of town and the “t-shirt” was found during a sale (yet not ON sale) at some rich ass store. What we don’t understand is that when they say they’re a “t-shirt and jeans kind of gal,” that means that they feel comfortable in their $300+ outfit. Which is nice I suppose, I’d hate for them to feel uncomfortable in a $1200 dress all day long. However, this is the very root of the problem, that’s not what we thought that sentence meant. Every fucking guy on the planet reads that sentence to mean “I like Levi’s with holes in them and any old t-shirt that fits nicely. I like to eat pizza, drink at least 4 beers a night, go out on the town often – but only to the sports bar ’cause I don’t like to get bored with conversation. Oh, and I really like to just lounge around all weekend.” Why do men think that? Because we’re idiots. Why are we idiots? Because we don’t realize that we’ve described a guy. Then when one of us has a chance to be with a “t-shirt and jeans kind of gal,” we fuck it up because we don’t know why they’re different from our preconceived notions.
Thankfully, Google can help us out on this one too.
4. Long set up on #3 I know, but I couldn’t just go the cheap route and link out. So now onto the blogger’s choice awards. This year they have a category called Worst Blog of All Time. Currently our friend SEOHack is in the “running” (read: nominated) for the prestigious award. Does he deserve it? No, but you should go vote for him anyway. Sure, his blog ain’t so bad, and yes it’s focused on SEO (kinda) so it couldn’t ever win this award, but who cares. It’s safe to sign up too! Those ass-holes ain’t sent me shit.
Fin
Posted on: June 25, 2008 by Syzlak
If you’re like some (all) of my friends, then you can’t make up your mind to save your life. Thankfully a new web site has taken care of this problem for you. i can’t decide is a new stupid voting site, except that you can enter whatever you like, and as long as you vote on 5 other queries, they’ll show you your results.
Here is a popular query:
Eat it Hack! Finally proof that I’m better.
you should all probably ignore that last one…
Thanks for the tip Hilker!
Posted on: May 1, 2008 by Syzlak
If you’re like me, you’re new to this whole “internet.” Hell, you probably didn’t even know that some people
call it a “web” and that it’s not a physical, tangible thing. I know that when I first heard former President Gore mention the “Internet Superhighway,” I couldn’t wait to rev up my engines (I have 3) and get on out there! Realizing that this wasn’t going to be the case was a sobering moment, but I feel I’ve overcome the sense of defeat. That being said, here’s some helpful links for all of you that haven’t yet ventured onto the highway (remember, it’s not a realhighway 
)
Information Finders (aka “Search Engines”)
Encyclopedias and such
ENTERTAINMENT!!!!!!!!!!
Sports
Where the Kids Hang!
