Posted on: July 1, 2008 by Syzlak
Hey reader!
Since I’ve gotten back into the swing of things over here at SyzlakSEM, I deemed it time to break out the ol’ Like-Like Link post. Today’s link post will consist mostly of links found today when I remembered that this post was due yesterday. Without further delay
1. Matt McGee has decided to have a job again. Pussy
2. Google decided that my life was just too easy and so they found a way to crawl Flash. Thanks assholes. Do you know how hard it is to deal with a Flash programmer? They’re insufferable bitches. Seriously, I have Flash programmers (some of them even like the oh so hoity title of “designers”) that are friends and they’re cool, but when it comes down to it asking them to change their precious Flash in any way is like asking a 4 year old to share ice cream. Now we’ll have a whole new generation of shitty looking web sites that aren’t planned out with proper architecture and are just projects to show off how fast someone can make a menu animate. I’m thrilled. Thanks again.
3. You know women? You know, like, models? I don’t mean Tyra or Naomi, but like the models on the lower tier. The catalog, newspaper, department store models. Not terribly flashy and they couldn’t make it in Milan; but all in all, damn fine looking women that would make you take a second glance 
or make Martin Lawrence go “DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN.” That’s what I’m talking about. The women that probably get stared at on a subway or train, get hollered at, demeaned, etc. when they really would like/should be treated like anyone else. The women that probably don’t get asked out often enough because they seem unapproachable, those that when interviewed (assuming they’d get interviewed for something) always say that they’re a “t-shirt and jeans kind of gal.” You know these?
Yeah, me too. Except the thing that dork-ass guys like myself fail to realize is that the “jeans” in question are probably a designer pair from a boutique clothing shop in the ritzy part of town and the “t-shirt” was found during a sale (yet not ON sale) at some rich ass store. What we don’t understand is that when they say they’re a “t-shirt and jeans kind of gal,” that means that they feel comfortable in their $300+ outfit. Which is nice I suppose, I’d hate for them to feel uncomfortable in a $1200 dress all day long. However, this is the very root of the problem, that’s not what we thought that sentence meant. Every fucking guy on the planet reads that sentence to mean “I like Levi’s with holes in them and any old t-shirt that fits nicely. I like to eat pizza, drink at least 4 beers a night, go out on the town often – but only to the sports bar ’cause I don’t like to get bored with conversation. Oh, and I really like to just lounge around all weekend.” Why do men think that? Because we’re idiots. Why are we idiots? Because we don’t realize that we’ve described a guy. Then when one of us has a chance to be with a “t-shirt and jeans kind of gal,” we fuck it up because we don’t know why they’re different from our preconceived notions.
Thankfully, Google can help us out on this one too.
4. Long set up on #3 I know, but I couldn’t just go the cheap route and link out. So now onto the blogger’s choice awards. This year they have a category called Worst Blog of All Time. Currently our friend SEOHack is in the “running” (read: nominated) for the prestigious award. Does he deserve it? No, but you should go vote for him anyway. Sure, his blog ain’t so bad, and yes it’s focused on SEO (kinda) so it couldn’t ever win this award, but who cares. It’s safe to sign up too! Those ass-holes ain’t sent me shit.
Fin
Posted on: March 5, 2008 by Syzlak
Except for a few people from Ask, they aren’t working at all…
Lord, I’m busy. By the next time I post, I’ll have recorded the bulk of my band’s next album, gone to SearchFest ‘08 (tagline: Don’t Hesitate to be Great in 08!!) and worked like a dog in between.
So, shit, what’s been going on lately? Ask is dead? Again? That’s sad to me, I’ve always enjoyed the hope of competition in the search field, and I thought Ask was getting better. I think that it’s too hard today to battle the omnipresent Google. I mean Google is now a verb for fuck’s sake!!! How could Ask ever compete with that?
Other news… (yes, I’m doing a lame editorial recap of the last few weeks in order to make up for the fact that I didn’t do a like-like link post)
SMX West happened last week. Did you go? No? Neither did I. Do you remember how we were forced to hear about all the great parties, cool contacts and fantastic information that we were missing out on? Yeah, me too. It’s a great time to be alive. If you missed out on SMX West, check out this great piece by Streko, it more or less sums up the existence of those of us that have to stay behind in order to keep the company running.
Not at all search related, I’ve added one of my favorite sites to the blogroll, The Strategic Retreat. Good post on there today…
Ok…there’s a meeting happening in my office, so I’ve lost my train of thought. Anyway, if you’re going to be at SearchFest ‘08 come find me. I currently have a Yacht Rock-esque haircut, but I assure you I won’t be dressed the part. I’ll be running around and volunteering, whilst trying to update via Twitter and posting right here on SyzlakSEM. Sadly, I won’t be able to hang with the SEOHack 
as he’ll be at home, sulking, drunk and alone. That is, if you don’t count liquor and guns as friends.
All right, done rambling. See ya in a week or so!
Posted on: January 31, 2008 by Syzlak
Aww shit. I don’t have many like-like links this month. So I’ll take care of the two most important issues facing our society today (yes I’m getting political).
1. This poor girl needs a lot of help, and I think we should all pitch in and do our part. Remember what she hate have, guys. So no sexually messages.
2. Super Tuesday’s around the corner…well after Super Sunday that is. What will we do on Mediocre Monday?
3. Reason #274 why I like Chipotle – They were playing “Swingin’ Party” by The Replacements when I walked in for lunch the other day.
All right, I know it was anticlimactic, oh well. There are your like-like links for the month of January.
Posted on: November 30, 2007 by Syzlak
Oh what a November. What happened? Syzlak got a new house, got a new client, got a new host, new domain, I’m fucking born again on the Interweb. So, shit what happens at the end of every month? Like-Like Links, let’s go:
1. Danny Sullivan vists Rand for a Whiteboard Friday on Thursday. There’s just too much fucked up here: wrong day, no podcasting microphone, the possibility that the collective egos will destroy the entire building they’re in…sorry Hilker, had to steal your jokes 
2. What the hell? This might be the fastest 2 links ever to be added to the Like-Like Link List. First Danny&Rand, now Hilker!!! That’s a mighty fine cover of a Britney Spears song!
3. I loved this piece called Chocolade Haas by Sander Plug. It appears as though Mr. Plug doesn’t like links to go directly to his art. It’s a shame really, as it was a lot easier when I said “I loved THIS VIDEO,” instead of “this video on an artist’s site called sanderplug.com. yeah, that’s it…well, but…oh this is different. hmm, go ahead and click there. ok, yeah…that’s it. the chocolade thing under his projects no…not miscellaneous, not directly under his projects…i mean…ok go back. ok…oh, there! it’s loading. yeah, that’s it. yes, it is going to be that small i suppose.”
4. Can you believe we’d been living all these years without the Italian Phil Collins Tribute Band – Sussudio? Check out the videos, he does his own delay effects…talent. We have to get these guys to the States.
5. The Booze Test. All SEMers should score well.
That’s it. I’m bored.
Posted on: October 30, 2007 by Syzlak
Ok, I’ve avoided the link-love posts for ages…but I’m bored and I want to put something new up on the interwebs so here we go:
Thing’s Syzlak like-liked this month:
- After giving SEOHack some much deserved props in her end of October review, Rebecca from SEOmoz started sounding like him.
- Ultimate Best Man Speech
- Seriously, another gem from SEOmoz. I really appreciated this one because the 301 debates have been raging again here at the office, and it was nice to show someone’s data for a 301 change (whether or not it helped)
- Darth, jammin’ on the harmonica.
- The Prime Number Shitting Bear – see how far he goes! Post the highest number you get to in the comments!
- Did I mention how I’ve been fighting with the programming team about 301 errors? I had, oh, well…this is still a great post, even though it’s friggin’ old
- Sauceless Beef Pizza is going to be a hit for Domino’s.
